Open Letter To Kansas School Board From Bobby Henderson "Concerned Citizen"

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.
Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.
Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence.
What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
 


In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (Pastafarianism), and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.
Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

An open letter to film, TV and music personalities

Dear All,

To those of you that have never owned a business, are mostly high school dropouts and probably started life busing tables and flipping burgers yet have taken it upon yourselves to be the spokespersons for economic stability, social and moral conscience and values that everyone should listen to I have this to say.

Your moronic, chicken little pseudo intellectual postulating aimed at the low IQ, low yield, endlessly demanding more handouts segment of the population that lives its lives watching daytime TV and dreaming of winning the lottery has revealed how little impact you have on the real world.

The productive and working middle class of every color race and hue has turned it's back on you and you will never win them back. You can cry racist as much as you like but winners are not bound by color or creed. Only losers wallow in that misery.

Yet now your target audience of losers and takers are out there protesting democracy, burning cars and beating people up and you say nothing or are actively encouraging them.

Go burn your bra's, wail and gnash your teeth, howl into the wind and cry like the simpering spoiled brats and whining girls blouses that you are because no one of any worth gives a fuck what you liberal elitist wankers that live in a fantasy world have to say anymore. 

Regards,

Wallace Westland

The Political Spectrum

For too long the left have been perpetrating the myth that fascism is of the far right. It is not. It is of the far left. 

 Many have bought into this mass brainwashing and seem to have forgotten that the Nazi party was actually Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (National-Socialist German Workers' Party; NSDAP). 

The shorthand Nazi was formed from the first two syllables of the German pronunciation of the word "national" (IPA: [na-tsi̯-o-ˈnaːl]).

This short video from Dinesh D'Souza explains it perfectly 

Anarchy is of the far Right.

The Left is about Government control, the further left the more control the government has of your life, freedoms and money.

The Right is about individual responsibility, the further right the more freedom a person has to act as they see fit in their own best interests.

Basic definitions (mine)

Communism-When the state owns all business and the people work for the amount the state says they will

Fascism-You own the business but the state tells you what you can make and how much you can sell it for

Socialism-When the state decides how much of your earnings someone else requires

Libertarian-When the state is reduced to looking after essential services and foreign policy and people are responsible for themselves.  
Anarchy-Freedom of the individual, unregulated by Government controls and laws.

MILO at FSU: "Twitter's Funeral"

Helen Clark vows to Continue Spending Your Money

Clark has been encouraged by a straw poll that moves her from 7th to 8th on the list of preferred candidates for the roll of World President and Head Trougher at the Marxist organisation known as the UN.

Whilst they are all despicable and the UN itself should be disbanded the idea that the man hating fascist Nazi could be leading the socialist minions of this black hole of a money pit should be daunting to anyone born with a dick.

Helengrads campaign of social engineering will be relentless with the wall of money stolen from taxpayers around the world to support her socialist male despising agendas.

She can't win but she'll keep spending our money and Key will keep giving it to her.


She truly is a cunt!

The bleeding hearts are coming for your money to support Chinese bludgers

Elderly Chinese are being dumped on us by their kids who then flee leaving us to carry the can. 

I've been talking about this for years and as per have simply been accused of being a racist.
Funny how telling it like it is makes you a racist!

"There's a big concern over the poor living conditions, low rates of home ownership and the general unfamiliarity with New Zealand housing among the older Asian population," said Associate Professor Elsie Ho, University of Auckland's director of population mental health.
"It's probably worse in Auckland because of the high property prices, but current immigration policy means we will see older migrants from Asia continue to come."

Nearly six per cent of all Asians living in New Zealand, or 27,309, are aged 65 or over.
Ho said a study was underway to explore the impact of housing situation of older Asians and its impact on health and wellbeing.
"The older Asian migrants are really dependent on their children, and there is a small number who are being left here to fend for themselves after their children move back to their home country or somewhere else," Ho said.
A 2013 Official Information Act release revealed that nearly 3000 migrants who brought their parents here, 31 per cent from China, had permanently left New Zealand.

The dependent family members and family reunification schemes are a rort and have no parallel anywhere else in the world and should be abolished.

Why should anyone be able to bring their unskilled parents into the country just because they may have a job in NZ?
It's even worse when it's Chinese as due to the one child scheme it is highly possible that one Married Chinese that's been offered a job can bring in not only both his elderly parents but both of hers too.

Let's say this couple is 30 and their parents are in their early 50's. That means that after 10 years they will be eligible for the pension despite having contributed nothing (or bugger all) towards it.
On top of that they have had access to free healthcare and all the other benefits of this socialist paradise.

It's highly likely the young couple are also bludging off WFF at the same time. Nor have they fully contributed to the infrastructure put in place by those of us that have been taxed to death our entire working lives.

These abandoned parents should be sent back to their countries of origin or those countries pay their pension and healthcare bills.
It is NOT our responsibility to continue supporting every non productive entity in the world. 

Im a libertarian? OMG...who knew?

Not me that's for sure. But since I can't comment there I'll do so here.

Can't believe I've been lumped in with Barry & Romney!

 Not sure who wrote this, seems English isn't their first language but it's just a bit of fun. If you want to take a look click the link and go find it on WO.

Most of my answers are fairly obvious but a couple may surprise. I've put comments in [RED] where I felt like it.

Your (my) answers were:

• The Government should not censor any opinion in any case.
• The Church shall finance itself, and be in equal grounds with any other association.
• Military service shall be voluntary. That is the best way to have a professional army prepared to defend our interests and commitments abroad.
• Laws should not interfere with sex between consenting adults, in no case.  

The government should fight drug trafficking with more resources and more effectively.  

[I'm against drugs and I've been very clear over the years as to why. This may not be a very libertarian view but fuck it, I always considered myself more of a conservative anyway if it wasn't for their annoying propensity to prattle on and fucking on about God. Jesus Christ...enough already!]

• The laws and the judiciary should establish in which cases preventive measures go before certain individual rights.  

[I'm afraid I just don't believe that everyone's personal liberties should be up to them to defend as some people can't and nor do I believe that everyone has the right to do as they damn well please just because they are strong enough too!]

• Any imposition or benefit based on criteria of sex, race or social group, violates the principle of equality before the law, and should not be imposed by the Government.  

[Absolutely, best person for the job and all that or the person I most want to work with. Any business or hiring manager that doesn't hire the best person because of their race, gender, creed, sexual orientation or whatever is a cock and will fail of their own accord and if they feel that way why the fuck would you want to work for them anyway?]

• The Government shall regulate immigration to allow necessary immigrants to come in a legal way.  

[All of them. I'm sick and fucking tired of this cherry picking focusing on Muslims. There are plenty of other cultures coming to this country that refuse to assimilate as well and despise us for the easy marks we are]

• The Government shall protect and / or promote the culture and languge [sic] that characterizes its nation. 

[I'm not convinced this reads the way I meant it. I simply chose this as it best answer. I don't want to turn around and find it is acceptable to promote a job in a restaurant were you must be fluent in Cantonese in NZ (seen this already) not that we should have endless days of Maori language week and make it compulsory in schools...fuck that..you want to learn a dead stone age language spoken by less people in history than the population of Timaru be my guest but don't force it on the rest of us!]

• There would be less pollution should clear responsibilities and well-defined property rights with respect to pollution be established. 

[Well duh...like who the fuck supports more pollution?]

• The Government should limit imports from some third world countries, as they use cheap labor.
• Taxes should not go up. They must be at the level required to meet the expenses of the State.  

[There should be a flat tax of 22% imposed on every level of earning with no exemptions starting at $15,000 per annum]

• Retirement plans should be guaranteed by the Government, with some kind of mixed model that can combine public and private plans.

• The Government shall manage aid and an adequate assistance to the needy, regardless of whether private charitable institutions may voluntarily supplement that.

[The Government provides nothing to anyone, we the taxpayer do and as a taxpayer I believe that we have a duty to look after those that cannot look after themselves]

• Professional sectors should be regulated by independent bodies, such as professional associations. Qualified professionals should join them, as their supervision ensures the quality of their services.
• Labor unions should be governed by the rules applicable to any other association, and no public funding or special functions shall be attributed to them.
• The Government should guarantee universal access to health care centers using some sort of public funding.
• The Central Bank has a key role regulating the economy, so it must be independent and supervise commercial banks.
• Big stores are businesses like any other. They are entitled to compete freely in the market, with no restrictions on their opening hours or prices.
• Employment contracts should enjoy freedom of clauses between parties. Laws should not interfere in purely contractual matters, such as duration or termination causes.